Lesson #1: Be Coach-able
First and foremost, teach your child to be coach-able.
Being coach-able means that your child has respect for his or her coach and listens to what is being taught. Being coach-able means that your child trusts the process, listens to what he or she is told and executes it without complaint. Your child may not master the skill but he or she has mastered the work ethic necessary to master that skill.
As parents, we struggle to trust the process as much as our children struggle to trust it. But trust in the process is most important when your faith in the process is most difficult.
Lesson #2: Be comfortable with being uncomfortable
Second, teach your child to reach out of his or her comfort zone by having difficult conversations with the coach.
By the age of 11, my children had to be the ones to have conversations with their coaches about playing time or skill progression. I am happy to attend any meeting so I can reinforce the message to the kids, but my children need to learn how to talk with the adult in a respectful way yet advocate for themselves.
When your elite soccer player children reach college, coaches will not (not should they) have a conversation with parents about playing time.
Your children need preparation and practice in how to talk to their college coaches. Elite soccer provides you the opportunity as a parent to teach your child a life lesson on communicating with authority and advocacy.
Lesson #3: Be an excellent team-mate and leader
Third, teach your child the characteristics of how to be an excellent team-mate and leader. These go hand in hand.
What we find at the Div. I level is that the best leaders are the best team-mates because they have learned the attributes of leadership from playing on teams.
Teach your child SELFLESSNESS by emphasizing good body language if a team-mate makes a mistake. Teach your child ACCOUNTABILITY by not accepting blame toward others. Teach your child a STRONG WILL and stronger COMMUNICATION SKILLS by not avoiding difficult conversations.
Every successful team captain in Div. I college soccer I have known throughout my career have these qualities and many more.
Lesson #4: Be positive
Fourth, teach your child positivity.
This lesson seems easy, right? Positivity doesn’t equate to being laid back nor does it mean unrealistic. Positivity means having confidence enough to self evaluate and find a way to reach goals. If your kids believe they can reach a goal, they are correct.
Lesson #5: Be mentally tough
Last – but most importantly – teach your children mental toughness and resilience.
College may be the first time in their lives that they don’t start, or that they don’t even play at all. College soccer players survive the disappointments of freshman year because they are mentally prepared for whatever happens to them. They have dealt with adversity, disappointment and failure and learned how to grow from those experiences.
By ED MCLAUGHLIN
优秀领导者一定是好的对友。 因为他们从队友中学会领导。培养孩子无私的特质 – 如果队友犯错培养良好的身体语言。有责任感 –不要抱怨指责别人，有坚强的意志和良好的沟通技巧 – 不要回避艰难的话题。每一个成功的团队队长都具备这些素质。
最后但 也最重要的一点 – 培养孩子的心理韧性和弹性。因为无论发生什么情况，他们都应做好心理准备。他们经历处理逆境，失望和失败，并学会如何从这些经验中成长。